Every beat means something.

Lately, I've been appreciating the fact that i found love in this life a lot more. Sometimes i tend to feel angry, or upset with the person i love, sometimes i take his love for granite... And I'm starting to really see beyond the surface here. I'm really starting to realize how grateful i should be to have love at all. Weather this love lasts until our eyes close for that sweet sleep, or dies out tomorrow, i'm still very thankful, that i met a person, who taught me more then i would have ever thought i could learn in such a short period of time. In a way, he helped me find myself better then i would have ever been able to. Sometimes, it's such a great feeling to know there is a person just like me in this world, whos heart beats with mine.



It can be so scary when you really start to see the reality in life, that one day everything fades away, the people, the places, and all of the things you know and love, they all fade away, and one day nothing that mattered to you so dearly, will not even matter at all. But being in love, and sharing everything that i have at this moment in time, with another person, a person who makes your world just a little brighter, makes everything less scary, and a little easier to accept. Because i really believe that when you find someone who loves you enough, even if it's just for the shortest of time, it REALLY is enough to make you feel like you received one of the Greatest gifts in life, true love. Because once your heart has been opened, and you're able to see life in a new aspect, you become a new person, a person who greatly appreciates everything you have, and of course, one day you will have to say goodbye to the person you love, it happens, and we all know it does. But there will always be that warmth in your heart, and those pictures in your head (if it's the real thing) of a time, and a place where you felt the best feeling there is to feel.

Scattered pieces of a puzzle.

Every now and then when my mind seems to skim through all of the memories of people and places i have stored away in the back of my mind, i stop and let myself indulge in the moment and it starts to bring me back to these times... Some of them are the best times, some of them are the worse times, but lately, it's taken me back to one memory in particular.


South Carolina

For some reason, i can't seem to get the memory out of my head. It could be because it was the first time where i was alone, really. I Had reasons to be there, but as those reasons seemed to get less, and less important, i started to appreciate what was really around me. As soon as i blocked out everything else, and focused on this pure, rich land, i became to fall in love with my surroundings. It may seem a little crazy, but it was the first time in my life i ever felt like i was supposed to be where i was. I can't explain the feeling that i felt.. It was like the strongest sense of Deja Vu i had ever felt before. These beautiful trees bending through through the streets, that were so alive with old energy, the sweet smell of the air, the ocean swaying back and fourth as the sun set and left the most beautiful colors in the clear sky, breath taking.
There was tall grass, which every time the light breeze would glaze the marash you could see every blade of grass slide against the other, Everywhere you looked, lovers holding hands.


I remember sitting in a Resturant, in the heart of downtown Charleston, and i got this sudden feeling of being in that exact place before. My body filled with chills, and i couldn't believe how real it felt, actually feeling like i've been some place i had never been in my life. I walked through a park afterwords, alone, it had a large water fountain and dipping my feet in, watching the ships in the ocean which was always in view while walking through this beautiful park... I felt like i was retracing my own foot steps, and it was the most calm, and relaxing feeling i had felt in such a long time. It was the first time i was ever alone and still felt so complete, and so peaceful. I felt like i belonged there, i felt like i never wanted to leave. Some of the streets i walked on, were made of red brick, and horse drawn carrages brushed by me, beautiful old buildings everywhere i looked, and the most freindly people i had ever seen before. There were beautiful flowers, and gardens around every corner... The history was screaming so loud through all of this beautiful earth, i couldn't help but take it in and appreciate every single inch of the ground i was walking on. Being there really changed my view on this beautiful earth we live on, and i believe it's there that i grew up a little more, and began to cherish my life, more then i'd ever thought about.


I know it sounds a little silly, but i truly believe that somewhere in another life, i walked those streets before, i touched those flowers with my flesh, and smelled the fresh air with my nose. I Really believe that the reason this amazing place gave me such a peace, and such a calm piece of mind, is because the pieces of my past life started to piece together a memory, one that i couldn't have ever possibly grasped without collecting the pieces of my past that my previous life left scattered around this magnificint world that we live in.


Just thinking about that time in my life, brings me the best peace i could ask for. Sometimes, i feel so sad for not staying, or going back, and i don't really know if maybe one day in the future i will return to that lovely place, or maybe this life holds other things for me... either way, i am happy to be blessed with such a beautiful world to live in.. and I will never forget the long days, and summer nights i spent in this amazing place.